For a long time...

I thought I was saved, but I realized I'm not. God, it's coming so fast. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is going to break into a million tiny pieces, it's going to be hard to put it all back together. Big hearts don't break easy. God, I know you have a plan for me, but I thank you for bringing him into my life because without him I don't think I would've seen what my life has been all this time, I would have never realized how I was living. It's going to hurt, but I know that letting him go is the best thing right now. I need to find myself, find you. Letting him go is like a analogy of letting my life right now go, leaving who I am and renewing myself. It's crazy how stuck in bondage I am in this life. Who I am is a totally different person than who I want to be. I don't know what you have in store for me lord, but I will go where you take me because I know that with you, life can't get any better.